Tag Archives: self-esteem

Plastic Surgery as Self-Expression

2 Mar

I fucking love tattoos.  On other people.  I personally, am terrified of committing to something that will be on my body forever (although I’ve contemplated the same tattoo since I was fifteen). I admired one dudes sleeve outside of some non-douchey bar in Adams Morgan (the only one …possibly) and he, in his drunken stupor, said “You’d be totally hot with a really sick sleeve.”  I appreciated his comment, but fear he is grossly mistaken. A sleeve would totally cover up my kick-ass birthmark in the shape of a running dog!

Besides, like I said — commitment.  It took me 8 years of diligently wearing makeup to commit to wearing red lipstick.  And even then, it comes off. I’m alright with my only body modification being my pierced ears.  I didn’t make the decision lightly.  In fact, I didn’t make the decision at all.  I popped out of my mama, matured a few weeks, and then the nurses at the hospital poked holes in my earlobes.  I’m sure it hurt.  But I’m OK not knowing either way.

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Our Vaginas, Ourselves, (Also, Insecurity)

10 Feb

Don’t call it a Pussy.

That is unless it’s getting hot and heavy, and you’re into the dirty talk and for some reason the word conjures up images of naked ladies, as opposed to a furry feline.

Why I Have A Love-Hate Relationship With Eating (You Know You Do Too!)

19 Aug

So, my plan for lunch today was to go to the Asian food place and get some nom nom lettuce wraps to eat.  But STARING AT MY FUCKING FACE was a sign saying “happy hour special!” — that began right at the time that I showed up to get my lunch.

As anyone that knows me will tell you, if there’s a deal — I’m on it.  Buy 2 Economy-Sized boxes of Baking Soda and get a 3rd Free? I’m in!  A BOGO on wilting strawberries at Giant?  COUNT ME IN!  This Happy Hour special involved a delish full meal — with a soup and an entree — and even a soda (I love soda, this is why I don’t have it at the house).

So, I gave in, and got the happy hour special, which included a take-out cup-size portion of Asian chicken noodle soup (lemony and cilantro-y! my faves) and Beef with Brocolli, since it’s the only entree that didn’t have any meat or vegetable deep-fried into delicious oblivion.

I sat at my desk, savoring the noodle soup that ended up burning my tongue — and I have to say, that I’m satisfied in terms of how much food I can fit into my stomach.  But sitting next to me, is a delicious, still-warm, helping of Beef and Brocolli just being to be covered in Rooster sauce and put inside my mouth!

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That Time Mark Ronson Saw Me Half-Naked

18 Jun

I was chilling on the waxing table this week, making sure that my Latin Hairy Gorilla Alter-Ego stays well-hid when I realized that I had an unexpected visitor.

I pulled my shirt back on, turned to the wall, and found a bleach-blonde Mark Ronson staring back at me. Continue reading