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High Brow vs. Low Brow: How Deepika Padukone’s Eyebrows Made Her a Star

30 Dec

Deepika Padukone is one of, if not THE most in demand Bollywood heroine of recent times. She debuted in 2007’s Om Shanti Om (one of my personal favorites!) opposite none other  than megastar Shah Rukh Khan. She had steady work in the years that followed but many – including Deepika – would agree that her breakthrough role came in 2012’s Cocktail. Playing the role of the beautiful and super effed up Veronica, she was edgy, sexy and really showed off her acting chops. Fast forward to 2014 and Deepika has taken over – she’s everywhere! A slew of endorsements, international appearances, the SLAM tour (which I totally regret not attending) and the box office breaking Happy New Year where she was paired with King Khan once again. So what is it about Deepika that makes her such a draw? She’s beautiful,talented, humble – all the makings of the perfect Bollywood superstar. But even with all that appeal, I would argue that what has made Deepika Padukone a true star are her eyebrows.


Get those awards, girl!

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MORE Evidence that Chris Hemsworth is the Ideal Mate for the Modern Cave Woman

21 Nov

His wife is pregnant with baby #2! Congratulations are in order for this insanely attractive couple and by “congratulations” I mean “be happy for them and simultaneously feel hideously jealous while hating your own life” – this may or may not involve more ice cream. And may I please remind you of  what I said about him being able to propagate the species? Oh that’s right, I said he could! And he is, as proof of his soon-t0-be second offspring. Not only is he putting more people on this planet, he’s putting people with God-like genetics on this planet.  Can’t say that’s a terrible legacy to leave behind.


Can I also just say, as a woman, I respect his wife because this lady is doing it RIGHT! If I were married to Chris Hemsworth I would be pregnant all the damn time. Good work, you two! Mazel!

Further Proof That Chris Hemsworth Is The Ideal Mate for the Modern Day Cave Woman

18 Nov

His genes are STRONG! Look at this picture of him and his family. His daughter looks like a tiny baby girl version of HIM! THEY HAVE THE EXACT SAME FACE! (Also his wife is stunning. KILL ME!)


Not only is he clearly fertile (as proven by the existence of his child) but this is a man who could propagate the species in the event of a zombie apocalypse. And even if he couldn’t, I wouldn’t mind watching him try! He’s already adding to the population of beautiful blond Norse godlike folk on this planet with the help of his equally perfect wife. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go and eat my feelings as I cry over this perfect blond family.

“What Did They Do To Captain America?!” And What Your Hair Says About You

7 Nov

I love me some super heroes. Specifically, I love super hero movies. Hot dudes in tight costumes, what’s not to love? Hollywood has, for the most part, done an incredible job of casting some very studly actors to portray these hunky heroes (excluding Ben Affleck’s short stint at Dare Devil. We’ll just forget that ever happened). Generally, these films have allowed for some action packed summer fun and blockbuster caliber eyecandy. Hugh Jackman as Wolverine? More of that, please! Chris Hemsworth as the mighty Thor? MORE OF THAT, PLEASE! Michael Fassbender as Magneto? OH YEAH! Ok so Magneto was technically a bad guy but when he’s using his mutation to kill Nazis, you really can’t hate on the guy. Anyway, this all brings me to another successful comic book casting: Chris Evans as Captain America. Not only is he delightfully buff but as Steve Rogers AKA Captain America, the super soldier, he has a heart of gold and old fashioned manners that melt your heart (and your loins.) I love my boo Thor but if I had to choose one hero that edges out the other hunks as the target of my affection, it would have to be Captain America. You just can’t resist the charm of a man who will pull out a chair for you, kiss you on the hand or jump on a grenade to save you – if it ever came down to that.

What a flipping dreamboat

What a flipping dreamboat

While I didn’t love the first movie (I just couldn’t get in board with the whole devil faced Nazis thing), I fully enjoyed the sausage fest known as the Avengers (sorry, Scarlett. I wasn’t looking at you but thanks for representing for the ladies). With new found love for Captain America, I was excited for the sequel “Captain Ameria” Winter Soldier.” Until my BFF Valeria shared the I saw the trailer. Something was different… he looks different.  His hair. What…WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR? Part of Captain America’s charm in The Avengers was that, as soldier from WWII now transplanted to present day, his fish out of water antics were tooth achingly sweet. He was a walking time capsule full of amusing old-timey catch phrases, mannerisms and clean cut style – and it was freakin’ adorable, people! Apparently the folks over at Marvel felt it was time for a change and voila – Captain America has 1990s boy band hair complete with Lance Bass frosted tips. For the love of all that is good and pure WHY?!



By this time you might be thinking “Whoa, it’s just a haircut” and that, my dear reader, is where you’d be WRONG! A haircut, much like one’s choice of clothing, communicates something to the world. Think about women’s haircuts and you’ll know exactly what I mean. Long, middle parted wavy locks tell me that you’re probably pretty trendy while a super short cut tells me you’re edgy. Your hair says something about you before you ever open your mouth and it’s one of the first things people notice about you – I mean, they don’t make a million different shampoos for nothing. Men’s haircuts are just as communicative. Let’s run through some examples, shall we?

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I Have Been Genetically Programmed to Be Attracted to Chris Hemsworth

20 Oct

Anyone who knows me knows that I basically have a crush on every boy. More specifically, I love every boy that has glasses, or speaks multiple languages or is just generally adorable in a swoon-worthy-nerd way (think Andrew Garfield). Normally, I like guys that are a little off beat/charming in their own way but are by no means desirable to the general population (with the exception of the US Men’s Olympic Swim Team). I’ve always liked the weirdoes who sit in the back of the class, or cutie behind the concession stand at the movie theater nobody goes to – and this works for me. It means less competition from other ladies and I get the satisfaction of feeling like I’m somewhat less shallow than your average bear. Recently, however, I have become completely infatuated with a specimen that is the polar opposite of everything I have come to love. You might know him by the name Chris Hemsworth. Yes, that’s right. I’m in love with Thor.

I have always loved Super Hero movies but a few years ago when Thor came out I had absolutely 0 desire to see it because a) who the fuck is Thor? And b) whoever this “Thor” person was being played by the whitest, beefiest, blondest dude I have ever seen – totally not my style. Of course I had friends who loved him and saw him on TV but I never really noticed, I was too busy fangirling over scrawny actors who cry a lot in their movies – I love man tears! Now fast forward 2 years to the release of The Avengers. Again, Thor wasn’t my style (I was more into Bruce Banner. Helloooooo Mark Ruffalo) but I distinctly remember thinking “Chris Hemsworth… I get it.” I understood why women loved him, I just didn’t happen to be one of those women… yet. Now fast forward again to the release of the film Rush – specifically the trailer for Rush. More specifically the end of the trailer for Rush when a smiling Chris Hemsworth walks backwards in slow motion. Utterly delightful. Now even after this moment of realizing that a slow-motion-smiling Christ Hemsworth was quite a sight to see, I was still more interested in seeing Rush for Daniel Bruhl (see above mentioned comments about multilingual hotties). I had seen him many years ago in Good Bye Lenin! and subsequently developed a crush on him.  After seeing Rush, two things happened: 1) I felt disappointed that the movie wasn’t very good (in my humble opinion) and 2) I had now realized my love for Daniel Bruhl. Yes this German born international actor, fluent in 5 languages, had stolen my heart. So I did what any normal fangirl, I dove into a YouTube rabbit hole to feast on all of the interviews, clips and bloopers I could possibly find. Unfortunately, Daniel isn’t terribly famous in the US so almost all of his interviews for Rush were with Chris Hemsworth, the more notable star. Now where this all leads us to is a dream that I had. After watching many interviews of this pair, they must have soaked into my brain because I had a dream (details of which will be discussed in another post) in which Chris Hemsworth made an appearance. For whatever reason by mind has bypassed my heart and the other guy showed up in my dream as opposed to the target of my affection. How unfortunate.

Nerdy girl dream boat!

Nerdy girl dream boat!

Now for whatever reason, inexplicable as it may be, I have since become obsessed with Chris Hemsworth. This was a real life Inception! A seed was planted in my dream and I couldn’t shake it. Why was this happening now? He’s so blond! He’s so… perfect. So not what the nerdy, intellectual side of my brain would ever want. And that’s when it hit me. It’s not the intellectual nerdy side of my brain that is attracted to him, it’s not my brain at all. It is the very fabric of my DNA as a woman that makes me love Chris Hemsworth. This seed wasn’t planted in my dream, it was planted by my ancestors that roamed the earth in search of shelter, food and a partner to propagate the species with. Someone that could hunt for you, protect you and put a baby in you. It is for these reasons that women are complete slaves to the attractiveness of Chris Hemsworth – he is a modern day cave man and we are nothing more than cave women with better posture and hopefully less body hair.

Now calling him a cave man is nothing against Chris Hemsworth – he seems like a lovely, intelligent person – I am simply focusing on his physical attractiveness as it relates to my cave woman survival instincts. If we’re speaking along the lines of Evolutionary Psychology I can only suppose that  someone well versed in the subject (which I admittedly am not) would argue that when our Caveman predecessors lived in the The Environment of Evolutionary Adaptedness (EEA) there were many threats to survival. Namely, scary ass beasts that could probably tear your face off at any moment. Thor looks like the kind of dude who could take down a saber tooth tiger if it came down to it – and I like that! While I normally find large, muscular men to be intimidating, there is something about his sheer size as a human being that I find attractive. While I may not have to worry about being stomped on by a woolly mammoth on my way home, there is always the threat of the occasional aggressive drunk at the local bar and being with a big dude just might make me feel a bit safer in such a situation. Yes, things have changed quite a bit since we discovered fire – I mean, Segways are a thing now – but we still aim to meet our basic human needs and desires and look for people who can help us do that. Chris Hemsworth looks like he could do that and a lot more. Have you seen the way he held his baby daughter in his hand like a softball?!

I feel safe!

I feel safer already!

Am I starting to make sense here? Sure, some folks think evolutionary psychology is a bunch of bullshit science created to keep us firmly planted in our socialized gender roles but I do think there is some validity to it and if there is, I don’t think I’m far off with my assessment of just exactly why women love Chris Hemsworth. Beyond his good looks, which are rather obvious, there are underlying reason why we find this type of person so appealing. Sure, it’s a great pleasure to look at them but this kind of physical perfection, deep down, equates to something much more meaningful – safety and survival. If this is true, which I believe it is, then me loving Chris Hemsworth is no more unnatural than my fear of birds (they’re scary ok?!) because it’s all about protecting yourself from potential harm. Cave woman instinct: avoid flying predators. Find mate. Don’t die.

So what does it all mean? I suppose what I’m getting at is, in actuality, humans are just animals with clothes and large toys. As much as I do find the strange and unique quite attractive, when it comes down to it if I were lost in the wilderness  I am more likely to feel more comfortable being lost with this guy than Andrew Garfield (still love you, boo!). So yes, I feel shallow for falling victim to Chris Hemsworth’s Australian charm and bulging biceps but if we’ve learned anything from this it’s that resistance is futile. To love Chris Hemsworth is just in my nature.


Delicious Movie Foods: Part I

3 Mar

If you’ve ever been a fat kid, or a skinny kid who just loved food, you’ve taken note of all the delicious foods featured in commercials, television shows and movies. If you’re like me, you took it to a whole other level. You, unlike your “normal” counterparts were basically raised by television and its loyal life partner, the VCR. You remember all the theme songs to shows featured on Nick at Nite, you learned tons of useless facts watching late-night shows meant for an adult audience and you drooled at the site of a Pizza Hut Pizza commercial- you know, the one with the cheese in the crust that 3 out of the 4 Monkees and 1 Beatles, obviously Ringo, tried to sell you. I never actually ate this pizza but in my mind it was the most delicious treat on the planet, which is why it was only available in the far reaches of such exotic lands as The Bronx and New Jersey. My pining for delicious foods extended to those shown in films. Most films feature at least one scene where the characters are eating,  but there were a few films where the food looked so tasty, so delectable that I actually found it distracting. These are those films.

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An Oscar Nominee is Sleeping on Me!

14 Feb

Ok that title is pretty misleading. But if you’ve been on tumblr over the past few weeks it’s been pretty hard to ignore all the images of Jean Dujardin sleeping on people. Upon first glance, it seems like an extraordinarily random phenomenon, even for the internet. Allow me to provide a little back story. Continue reading