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It Happened to Me: I’m Fat, Love to Dance and it Blows Peoples’ Minds!

19 Feb

I love to dance. I also love to eat. What happens when you combine these two things? A fat dancing queen. Which is exactly what I am. I love to bust a move when given the chance whether it means I’m doing a not-so-subtle two step down the cereal isle at the grocery store or workin’ it like it’s my job at Zumba. Some of the best times I can remember have involved me listening to the jams of my choice and breaking it down with friends (including ones I arrived at the scene with or new ones I made on the dance floor). So why am I telling you this? Well, for starters I was moved by some reaction pieces to an article recently posted on XOJane entitled ‘It Happened to Me: There Are No Black People In My Yoga Classes and I’m Suddenly Feeling Uncomfortable With It” In the article, the writer (a thin, white woman) explains her reaction to, for the first time, having a curvacious black woman in her class. I don’t go into details about what she says because, quite honestly, it gives me a headache. What I do want to go into, however, is a reaction piece I read. In “I’m a Big Black Girl Around Small White People and I’m Suddenly Feeling Uncomfortable With It: My Response to xoJane,” writer CeCe Olisa discuses her experience in a mostly white yoga class. What jumped out at me in the article was the expectation that, because she was larger, she wouldn’t be able to do the poses and that when she did she was greeted with praise because she defied the expectation. Being a larger lady myself, I can relate to CeCe’s experience quite a bit.

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Plastic Surgery as Self-Expression

2 Mar

I fucking love tattoos.  On other people.  I personally, am terrified of committing to something that will be on my body forever (although I’ve contemplated the same tattoo since I was fifteen). I admired one dudes sleeve outside of some non-douchey bar in Adams Morgan (the only one …possibly) and he, in his drunken stupor, said “You’d be totally hot with a really sick sleeve.”  I appreciated his comment, but fear he is grossly mistaken. A sleeve would totally cover up my kick-ass birthmark in the shape of a running dog!

Besides, like I said — commitment.  It took me 8 years of diligently wearing makeup to commit to wearing red lipstick.  And even then, it comes off. I’m alright with my only body modification being my pierced ears.  I didn’t make the decision lightly.  In fact, I didn’t make the decision at all.  I popped out of my mama, matured a few weeks, and then the nurses at the hospital poked holes in my earlobes.  I’m sure it hurt.  But I’m OK not knowing either way.

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Our Vaginas, Ourselves, (Also, Insecurity)

10 Feb

Don’t call it a Pussy.

That is unless it’s getting hot and heavy, and you’re into the dirty talk and for some reason the word conjures up images of naked ladies, as opposed to a furry feline.

Why I Have A Love-Hate Relationship With Eating (You Know You Do Too!)

19 Aug

So, my plan for lunch today was to go to the Asian food place and get some nom nom lettuce wraps to eat.  But STARING AT MY FUCKING FACE was a sign saying “happy hour special!” — that began right at the time that I showed up to get my lunch.

As anyone that knows me will tell you, if there’s a deal — I’m on it.  Buy 2 Economy-Sized boxes of Baking Soda and get a 3rd Free? I’m in!  A BOGO on wilting strawberries at Giant?  COUNT ME IN!  This Happy Hour special involved a delish full meal — with a soup and an entree — and even a soda (I love soda, this is why I don’t have it at the house).

So, I gave in, and got the happy hour special, which included a take-out cup-size portion of Asian chicken noodle soup (lemony and cilantro-y! my faves) and Beef with Brocolli, since it’s the only entree that didn’t have any meat or vegetable deep-fried into delicious oblivion.

I sat at my desk, savoring the noodle soup that ended up burning my tongue — and I have to say, that I’m satisfied in terms of how much food I can fit into my stomach.  But sitting next to me, is a delicious, still-warm, helping of Beef and Brocolli just being to be covered in Rooster sauce and put inside my mouth!

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Trying out this retro look

8 Jul

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When did I become a dude?

23 Jun

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Seriously though, I’m channeling some boy antics here as the objects next to my laptop are lotion, a tissue box, and a glass of water.

In fairness, I’m getting over this Bonnaroo flu-type thing and I’m a very large proponent of both hydration and moisturizing. St. Ives lotion is cheap at Target (like $3.25) and does awesome stuff for your skin.