Need A Little Nudge to Spice Up Your Dating Life? Check Out Love At First Site Tonight!

28 Apr

Candace and I are always sharing with y’all our annoyances with the dating pool, and although many of our blog readers commiserate with our experiences, it’s safe to say that Candace and I are the worst people to give you dating advice.  We’re no experts! We literally have NO proven results from people following our advice. What we do have thankfully, is a good sense of humor about the whole thing.  So, that’s why I’ve turned to Erika Ettin of A Little Nudge for some online dating feedback.

Unlike us, Erika has proven results from people taking her online dating advice. She works with her clients to vamp up their online profiles to get the best results, and she was gracious enough to answer a few questions for us while she prepares for Love at First Site, on Monday, April 28, at Sixth & I Synagogue where she’ll go even more in depth. The best part?  If you like what Erika is saying here … you can win a pair of tickets to see her speak tonight! Details after Erika’s Q&A!

How could no one ever tell Clark Kent was SuperMan?

How could no one ever tell Clark Kent was SuperMan?

Erika, I have a ridiculous amount of questions, mostly related to what I’m doing wrong.  But I really want to mostly focus on what everyone else is doing wrong.  So let’s get cracking!

What is the number one mistake people are doing when they’re sending messages online? What should they be doing instead?

How many times have you seen a message that says, “Hey, what’s up?”  And that’s all is says!  One too many times, I’m assuming.  The worst thing you could do is to say nothing substantive at all or just copy and paste the same message to everyone.  It’s very obvious and shows no interest in actually trying to impress someone.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, don’t send someone your novel, either!

Noted! To piggyback onto that question, do you have a secret message up your sleeve that gets the most responses for your clients?

I sure do!  The best messages consist of something that comments on the other person’s profile and a bit of humor. Take a peek at these two.  They both did very well!  (They are also featured in my book that’s coming out later this year.)

And I thought I had a lot of degrees… Congratulations on getting your doctoral degree.  I actually really appreciate when people value education as much as I do.  I got my PhD in Physics before moving here three months ago.  What’s next for you?  A Nobel Prize?  😉 

John (oooo… good one John! That would definitely get a response from me!)

—-

I have to ask about your line, “Love women who love words.” Are we talking women with a big vocabulary? Just curious. Regardless, I like words. In fact, I use them daily. (sassy lady! I like her!)

Since you seem to be into good food as much as I am (not a small feat), what are some of your favorite restaurants in the area?

~ Yolanda

Those two messages certainly  had a lot of sass! I would definitely message both of those people.  Ok, switching gears now.  Since, Candace and I have seen our share of terri-bad, or lackluster profiles – what are the do’s and donut’s to curating your online profile?

The best advice I can give is not to be generic… and spell check!

What do you mean by “not generic?”

Generic:

I like to laugh and have fun.  I’m just as comfortable in a ball gown as I am in jeans and flip flops.  I love my friends and family.  I love to travel.

That’s generic!  If you read your profile, and it could describe anyone, it’s not unique enough.

Oh!! Yes, that makes sense.  I think this is definitely applicable to lots of people in DC.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen profiles from people that say “I love to travel abroad!” and then I’m always like “Great! What do I do with that?” 

Ok, next up … one of the reasons people are choosing to date online is because they’re so busy. But with so many profiles to compete with, what can people (aka we) do to make our profiles stand out?

Rather than writing long lists of adjectives, it’s best to follow the rule: show, don’t tell.  If you’re funny, rather than saying, “I’m funny,” say something you find funny instead!  My puns might not be someone’s cup of tea, and that’s A-ok because he got a true sense of who I am.

Aha! You’ve essentially backed up what I’ve thought long and hard about, which is essentially, that DC dudes with online profiles definitely do not have my sense of humor. What about photos?  What should we be avoiding completely? There are some pretty scary ones our there on peoples profiles. 

No bathroom selfies!  I recommend 3-5 pictures.  At a minimum, there should be a clear headshot, a full body, and a photo of you doing something interesting.  The last one makes it easy for people to get the conversation started if they can ask about the picture.

What about mistakes that specifically women are making on their profiles?

Too many put group pictures.  Bad idea!  Don’t get compared to your friends!

Ok, here’s the cute part — what’s your favorite success story from one of your clients?

I work with people all around the country, and I worked with a very nice guy in Iowa.  He got my Platinum Package, so I was even planning his dates.  (No – I’ve never been to Iowa!)  Then he met Holly:

 “I worked with Erika on the Platinum Package, and to say that it was a successful experience would be an understatement. Not only did she find places in Des Moines for dates that I didn’t even know existed, but she hand-picked my current girlfriend from Match.com and said, “She’s the one for you.” Almost a year later, it turns out she was right. Holly and I are going on a trip to Italy and Spain this week, and my kids seem to want to spend more time with her than they do with me! I can’t recommend this service highly enough.”

And about a year later…

 

“She said yes!  She’s amazing!  She’s incredible!  I would have never asked her out without you.  Thank you! Thank you!”

 

It feels good.

Ah! That’s so awesome!  Twue Wuv can be found on the internet!

 

If you want to win tickets to see Erika dole out more advice tonight at Love at First Site, share this post and leave a comment about the most unique date you had with someone you met online.  The winner will be picked at 4PM EST!  Giveaway is open only to people in the DC-Metro Area. Sixth & I Synagogue is LGBTQ-inclusive.  Any self-identifying women are welcome to attend! Sorry non-DC people!  But check out more of Erika at A Little Nudge.

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2 Responses to “Need A Little Nudge to Spice Up Your Dating Life? Check Out Love At First Site Tonight!”

  1. Jillian April 28, 2014 at 7:03 pm #

    Great interview V 🙂 I have to say I went on a pretty rad date the other week. He said the night was a surprise with a few stops on the way. He took me to this awesome hole in the wall diner in G-town, bought us some sammies to go and then we drove over to the gardens by the WWII memorial and ate our sandwiches by the monuments at night and took a stroll to our favorite spots like FDR and the reflecting pool. Great conversation and romantic moonlit walk, spot on dude!

    • V-Money April 28, 2014 at 8:03 pm #

      Who knew there were hole in the wall diners in Georgetown?! Here I thought it was all bros and brown flip-flops. Jillian! You won tickets to tonights event! Give your name at the door tonight at will call — Doors at 6:15 and the event starts at 7pm!

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