Danny Castellano From The Mindy Project is My Ideal Man. Here’s Why.

23 Jan

After being pressured by what seemed like everyone I’ve ever known, I started watching The Mindy Project. I wasn’t actively avoiding the show but my newfound obsession with Netflix has left me a little out of sorts when it comes to real-time episodic TV. I always forget when shows are on, or what channel so I just give up and binge watch other shows that have already been on for 5 seasons AND I HAVE TO CATCH UP LIKE NOW, OK?! I’d seen the pilot episode of The Mindy Project but soon after fell into a deep obsession with Breaking Bad and basically removed myself from my own life so I could finish it. Luckily for me, my BFF Valeria is always looking out for me so when she gently nudged me watch it again, I obliged.

Before we go on I should mention that, for about 10 years, I have had a crush on Chris Messina. Ever since he played Ted on Six Feet Under (which now looking back I was probably too young to watch) I have been swooning over him. He’s one of those actors that seems to be in EVERYTHING but isn’t famous enough to be plastered all over Us Weekly – which I love. For me, Chris Messina and Mindy’s adorable nature (and killer wardrobe) were big draws so I started watching online. Now that I have several episodes under my belt, naturally, I’m into the whole Mindy/Danny “are they or aren’t they?” story line. Why? Because the studly New Yorker with a bad attitude, otherwise known as Danny Castellano, is my perfect man. He has all the elements that make for my ultimate ideal life partner. They are listed below:

He loves Bruce Springsteen.
Why is this important? Well… if you’re even questioning why this is important I already know that you have the emotional depth of a potted plant so feel free to see yourself out! If you’re familiar with Springsteen’s music you know how poetic and emotional it truly is. A lot of folks (and I’m talking to the young folks here) seem to have this image of a tight- jean-wearing Springsteen dancing with Courtney Cox seared into their memory and base their opinions of him and his music solely on that. I’ll admit those jeans and those dance moves maybe weren’t the best of times in the Springsteen universe but have you ever actually listened to the lyrics of ‘Dancing in the Dark’? That song is about pain, it’s about introspection, it’s about being fed up with what life has handed to you. That is what Springsteen is about. A man who loves music that is that poetically angst-y has to have the emotional intelligence to understand all of the feelings being expressed in those songs; they have to understand what it’s like to struggle, to question themselves, to care and to feel pain so deeply that they want to “take a knife and rip this pain from [their] heart” (see: Promised Land from Darkness on the Edge of Town). And we know that Danny understands pain – he was abandoned by his father and practically raised his little brother. Which leads me to reason #2.

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He’s a family man
Though Mr. Castellano’s sharp judgments and even sharper tongue might have you peg him as a loner, but there is a warm heart that beats underneath that icy shell of a man as proven by his role as loving and accepting older brother. As I mentioned in the Danny Castellano Canon of The Mindy Project, his father ditched when he was a kid, leaving his mother to work multiple jobs and Danny to raise his younger brother, Richie. Soon after meeting him, we find out that Richie is gay, and perhaps because Danny seems, at times, a little overly “macho” the other characters believe that a) he doesn’t know and that b) he would be shocked and/or disappointed by the revelation – and that’s where they’d be wrong. Danny is macho but he’s secure enough in his macho-ness to love and support his brother for who he is. Which, in a word, is awesome.

He can dance.
I cannot express how much I LOVE that this dude can dance. I don’t consider myself a good dance but nevertheless I love to break it down from time to time and when I do, I am constantly shocked and saddened by the lack of men on the dance floor. Yes, you’re men and yes, you’re allowed to dance! This is why I love Bollywood – I love watching men dance! American men do not break it down nearly enough for my personal liking but lucky for us, Danny Castellano is not afraid to show off his moves after studying an Aaliyah video on YouTube for what I can only assume were countless hours. He quite literally gave someone the gift of dance! Bravo, Danny! Show ‘em how it’s done.

He’s a Doctor.
I just put this one down for my mom. Because if I can’t marry a Jewish doctor, any doctor will do – even if it’s a doctor for lady parts. I was going to make a joke here but I’ll just quit while I’m ahead. Use your imagination.

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He wears baseball shirts.
Ok this one is kind of stupid, but I have a thing for baseball shirts. Maybe it’s because it reminds me of some olden time in America when girls were girls and men were men… wait, that’s the theme song to All in the Family… but you get what I’m saying.  Baseball shirts are a solid throwback piece that don’t feel hipster-y or try-hard. And they’re playful; they gives off a kind of boyish charm – even when you’re wearing one at 38.  And when fitted well you can see some nice chest action. But perhaps the most important reason I love baseball shirt is that they remind me of Benny “The Jet” Rodriquez from the Sandlot  who, if you remember clearly, was a total babe. Basically this is all to say: carry on, Danny! I like your style.

He’s a man, not a bro.
What exactly do I mean by this? Well from what I’ve gathered, he is a man who is firmly planted in his masculinity. He seems like the kind of guy who protects his lady (a la the whole “stay in the car!” scenario from last week’s episode) but isn’t possessive of his lady – you feel me? He wouldn’t be texting you every five minutes asking “where are you?” because he’s not an insecure little boy pretending to be a man. He is a man who knows that his lady (in this scenario, me!) is only ever at 1 of 4 places: work, Sephora, CVS and my house! Plus Danny’s judgmental nature makes me wonder if he thinks texting is stupid. He probably does. Oh, and another thing, he appreciates women for being women! Ok so you have a little back fat and your boobs aren’t exactly symmetrical- he’s cool with it! In the words of Dr. Castellano “you’re a woman, look like a woman.”

Underneath that scowl, he’s a good guy.
He’s not a bad dude – he’s just from New York! We’re all a bit prickly. You would be too if you ever had to try and get on an express train from Times Square during rush hour.  But Danny, just like the perfect New York bagel, is tough on the outside but all warm and fluffy inside. Sure, he might have threatened to punch someone in the face more than a few times but he’s also not afraid to tell you when he needs emotional support – or a ride because he got lost in the desert. He’s snarky but he’s also sincere, and when the time is right he’ll make his feelings known. PLUS HE LOOKS JUST LIKE CHRIS MESSINA.

So there you have it, Danny Castellano is my perfect man. Now if I could just find someone like him that isn’t a fictional character I would be golden!

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4 Responses to “Danny Castellano From The Mindy Project is My Ideal Man. Here’s Why.”

  1. Sara July 24, 2014 at 11:47 pm #

    It’s like you took every thought I’ve ever had about why Danny is perfect and wrote it down. Especially the part about baseball shirts and Benny from the Sandlot!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Our Inaugural Podcast! | Notes Between Friends - March 28, 2014

    […] show that everyone should be watching instead of everything else ever created for television. How Mindy Kaling really isn’t that funny (Candace’s opinion). As well as wonderful insight into how to ruin any sort of dating […]

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