Tips For Online Dating: Don’t Overshare

20 Jan

The best part about online dating (and real life dating as well) is the hilarity and reactions that ensue when you share a particularly juicy message with your friends.   Juicy doesn’t always have to mean swoon-worthy, I’ll have you know. In fact, very rarely will a online message that elicits an actual response be shared among friends.  Most ladies I know like to play it close to the chest when it comes to that.  We don’t like to overshare about important things.

Men, on the other hand are all about the overshare.  There’s the usual overshare of “just looking for a girl who’s DTF,” and the shirtless profile picture, and then there’s the overshare that is completely unexpected like this one:

Really not something to reveal before a first date

Really not something to reveal before a first date

At first, I read it and I thought to myself “wow, that’s so unexpected,” considering that I would never describe myself as particularly feminine, although I agree with his definition of it both being “delicate and powerful.”  But then he really hits it out of the park by saying that he’s a cross-dresser JUST IN CASE I WAS WONDERING!

PS1: I was not.
PS2: Candace’s actual response: “WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?” (Capslock is all hers)

Not that there is anything wrong with cross-dressing, everyone should look to get their jollies in any which way they want as long as it doesn’t pose an incredibly violent and dangerous situation for themselves and others. But, by revealing right off the bat that you’re into cross-dressing isn’t going to make me want to make out with you.  It’s just not my own personal kink.  You do you honey though, you do you.

Also, if you’re struggling with your possible homosexuality, your best bet for help would be reaching out to a hotline, or any other number of organizations and resources that help people that are in the closet, and definitely not a strange heterosexual female on OkCupid.  Just my suggestion.

Another mistake that this particular lad made was sending the exact same message word for word to another lady, a friend of mine, who I would also describe as “delicate and powerful.”    I don’t know how often we have to repeat this to the internet males of the world, but for the love of God, don’t copy and paste your messages.  DC is a very tiny city (I recently had a terrible ex-person-that-i-dated show up on my tinder and I felt violated!) and it’s likely that everyone knows each other and has probably hooked up. In fact, living in DC is not that different from going to a small liberal arts college in the city with a very high gay population.

On the plus side, his message was very flattering, even if his delivery was very misguided.

Lesson Review:

1) Don’t overshare — especially about sexual kinks

2) Don’t copy and paste messages.


2 Responses to “Tips For Online Dating: Don’t Overshare”


  1. Tips For Online Dating: Don’t Overshare | TinderNews - January 21, 2014

    […] See the article here: Tips For Online Dating: Don’t Overshare […]

  2. Single Lady Beauty: Chocolate Coffee Hair Rinse | Notes Between Friends - January 23, 2014

    […] of our time talking about how we wish we had love in our lives.  In reality, the dating pool is terrifying and it’s a lot safer to just stay at home and cuddle our pets (in my case) and jazz up our […]

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