Tips for Online Dating: A Series

6 Jan

Well, ladies and gentlemen (but mostly ladies) we’ve reached a sad point in history when online dating is the number one source for connecting with another human being. That’s right, we have become so paranoid and so wrapped up in our online personas that we no longer truly believe in meeting someone in a natural setting. Sure, we say we do but when was the last time you actually engaged  in  a conversation with a perfect stranger? Well, I’m from New York so I was basically born suspicious of everything and everyone so naturally, anyone speaking to me that I deem a stranger is completely terrifying. When approached by a gentleman in a bar I always think a) WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?! and b) are you a serial killer? While I generally find the act of engaging with strangers dubious at best, I also don’t want to be a cat lady. So what’s the solution? Online dating! Not just for losers anymore, it’s for everyone.

I haven’t had much luck with my “prospects” mainly because dudes either a) have no game b) have way too much game or c) want to see pictures of my feet. Oddly enough it’s b that bothers me the most, but I digress. So how does one maneuver the dangers and potential pitfalls of online dating? Well, I don’t really know but let’s learn together, shall we?

Tip #1: Be polite!

Always be polite. No, not because you legitimately want to be nice but because you should ALWAYS be paranoid! Yes, I said it, be paranoid! Are you already paranoid? Be more paranoid than that! Now that everyone is facebooking and snapchatting their lives away, they want to put you on blast on social media, too! If you say something rude or crazy or ridiculous you can just about bet that that person is gonna put you on their instagram or some other platform (which is exactly what I’m about to do now.) Take for instance, this fine specimen below. He is blatantly asking me if I want to have sex with him. The answer is no, but I said “no thanks!” just in case he decided to make our interaction public with his “boyz,” at the very least he can say I wasn’t down, but I was nice about it!

datingI would also like to point out that we are a 10% match. So that pretty much sums it up. Happy dating, friends! Stay safe (and paranoid) our there.

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One Response to “Tips for Online Dating: A Series”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Our Inaugural Podcast! | Notes Between Friends - March 28, 2014

    […] that funny (Candace’s opinion). As well as wonderful insight into how to ruin any sort of dating situation ever. We get really deep into it, and come to think of it, I’m kind of embarrassed that […]

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