That Time Mark Ronson Saw Me Half-Naked

18 Jun

I was chilling on the waxing table this week, making sure that my Latin Hairy Gorilla Alter-Ego stays well-hid when I realized that I had an unexpected visitor.

I pulled my shirt back on, turned to the wall, and found a bleach-blonde Mark Ronson staring back at me.

It made all the painful hair-pulling well worth it. The sight of him was almost enough to disregard the fact that my waxist suggested that I wax my arms (literally the only part of my body free of the Latin Gorilla curse).

I dislike when people tending to your armpits and hoo-hah suggest other places of your body that could use some sculpting. I already hate my armpits, why make me develop a complex about my arms as well? And while we’re at it, let’s wax the back of my neck and maybe also my toes.

To lady waxers of the world, please don’t take advantage of our vulnerable half-naked position and point out all the flaws of our body. Instead, take a cue from Ana at Ricardo’s Infinity Salon in Brighton, MA. After she gave me the best effing possible Brazilian wax, she stood back, looked at her impeccable work, and commented on how “young” my Vagina looked. Sounds strange, I know, but it was the nicest compliment I ever received from one lady to another. And I trust her opinion, after all, she’s seen a lotta pussy (and many a gay peen for that matter)



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