I’m in Love with a Man Nearly Half My Age

28 May

While my cohort Valeria might feel that promoting sex with a minor is a bad thing, I respectfully disagree. Ok so having actual sex with a teenager is both disgusting and tacky (not to mention prime material for a lifetime movie) I have to admit that I have recently fallen under the spell of none other than Canadian born Justin Bieber. Not only do I love the fact that he is dating the resident saucy Latina of the Disney Channel,  Selena Gomez (a detail I know Valeria also appreciates), but his prepubescent swag hearkens back to the good old days of boy bands – when your ability to dance in unison with other midly attractive boys superseded any need for actual singing talent or personality.

These days it seems like pop music has been completely overrun by manufactured pop stars wearing unitards and brightly colored wigs parading around as “singers” when in actuality, their mediocre voices are funneled into autotune so many times their songs end up sounding like something those little green aliens from Toy Story might sing if they were ever to make a vocal debut.  JBiebs is different. Sure he might weigh about 80 lbs soaking wet, rock that squinty-eye-pouty-mouth look a little too often but he is at the very least entertaining. He’s a cute boy with nice hair who sings sugary sweet love songs – what more could a girl ask for? I’m a regrettable 24 years old and I 100% love the Biebs! I would much rather watch a Justin Beiber concert – preferably at home due to the fact that the primal screams of hormonal tweens would most likely result in a conchlear implant – than watching Lady Gaga. Unlike many of the stars and starlets these days, the Biebs keeps it real – all he wants to do is sing, dance and praise the lord. You won’t see him in a tux made out of recycled cans or fish fillets anytime soon. He’s just a good old fashioned entertainer with  follicles a-plenty.

Don’t deny your love! Embrace the Biebs.

Dear sweet Jesus please make his hair grow back. In your name we pray.


3 Responses to “I’m in Love with a Man Nearly Half My Age”

  1. Valeria May 30, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    Does Selena qualify as saucy though? I feel like she’s a delicate little flower — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT6YV5goQ18

    • killacan May 30, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

      Did you see that picture of her with her legs wrapped around the Biebs? Saucy town.

      • Valeria February 10, 2012 at 4:28 am #

        also — this post requires a follow-up post of a live-blogging of watching never say never — since it’s now streaming on netflix. sounds like a perfect friday night activity!

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